I’m Freaking Out…

Time is ticking!  It’s May 7th.  I have less than 2 months left before I leave for Africa.  I haven’t received any information about flights yet, but they already told me I wouldn’t be getting anything until about 4-5 weeks prior to departure.  That means it should arrive around Memorial week or early June, I guess.

I feel like I have so much to do!  I just moved back home to my parents house at the end of April.  I’ve been here now for about 8 days, but it feels like I’ve been here at least 2 or 3 weeks already.  Everyday I’m busy running errands or babysitting my niece and nephew.  I’m still organizing my things out of my boxes, but thankfully 90% are now unpacked.  I still have several boxes of old school books and papers that I want to sort through though, but I feel like I don’t have time.  This weekend I’m going to Zion National Park in Utah, camping from Friday to Sunday.  I planned the trip with my friends, but I wish my friends would step up and help just a little without me having to ask.  Also, I’m planning a going away picnic at Malibu Wines on June 2nd.  So far, not many people have responded to the invite.  It’s quite annoying.  Sometimes, I just feel like no one cares.  Maybe it’s because I have been talking about the Peace Corps so much that everyone is now desensitized about my departure.  I feel like people just want to say, “Gosh, aren’t you gone yet?”  I dunno.  I keep telling myself that it’s all in my head.  I really wish I had left with the March Gambia group, rather than the June group.  March would have been so much better timing; I wouldn’t have all this waiting to endure.  Seriously, I’ve been waiting a very, very long time.   The time since I filled out the applications to the time I leave is about 15 months.  I’m using my time wisely – volunteering, traveling, spending time with family and friends, and preparing – but sometimes having too much time to do something makes you less efficient, and it makes the actual event less exciting.  If it all happened right away, if I got my invite to serve and then departed 2 or 3 months later, then I think it would be a more exciting whirlwind trip, rather than having 7 months of waiting.

OK, this is too much rambling.  In short, I’ve been waiting for so long, but now everything is moving so much faster.  I’m just feeling overwhelmed (like I’m being pulled from all sides) and also feeling that no one cares.  I want to think of something that’s not Peace Corps related for a change.


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